How to Realign When You Feel Disconnected From Yourself

Original image by Priscilla Zorrilla.

I know this about myself: I operate mostly from my mind and let that run the show. Ways this shows up:

👉🏼 Randomly checking my social media accounts throughout the day to respond to new engagement.
👉🏼 Jumping straight onto my phone or laptop first thing in the morning, skipping my morning routine.
👉🏼 Not using my personal calendar wisely to plan my days or weeks.

It’s like I’m living scattered. Rather disorganized.

The more I let myself live on the edge of “just wing it” (which can feel freeing at first), the further I drift into a foggy kind of nothingness. I become like a balloon untethered—drifting, directionless, and hard to reach.

When I stay in this zone for too long, I start to feel “heady” and “airy.” The physical manifestation is a lightness that starts in my body and creeps up into my head. It’s like I’m disappearing.

This is something I have to be careful with. If I don’t notice the subtle ways I’m leaving my body, avoiding the present, and ignoring the structure I need to feel grounded in myself, it will eventually catch up to me and turn into a funk where I am disoriented and mindless. I can’t even trace the steps that led me there. It’s like I’ve lost the thread of my own life.

Good news though. When I look back on what led me there, the pattern is clear:

I am not living in alignment with my personal values.

That’s what puts me in the fog. That’s what makes me feel far from myself: I am not dedicating my most beautiful energy to my personal values. Instead of directing energy toward the things that nourish me, I’ve unconsciously handed it over to the culture of urgency AKA the go-go-go, endlessly online, productivity-and-consumption-driven way of living that rewards burnout and applauds busyness.

I’m not exactly sure what kick starts things in that direction, but I do know of a proven, preventative strategy: hold a 30 minute ceremony with myself once a month and look at myself through the whole person lens over the past month and ask:

• Am I living in alignment with my values?

• What am I living my life in alignment with?

• Am I putting my most beautiful energy into the things that I value?

• How am I dedicating (good) time and energy towards my values?

I learned this practice years ago from a coach I admire, Dr. Jeff Smith. When we were working together on clarifying my purpose, he encouraged me to start with my personal values. It was a foundational moment. I’d never formally defined my personal values before, and doing so gave me an anchor I didn’t know I needed. Once I had those values defined, I had something to return to. It has become my compass and root system.

I wrote this post because I’ve been feeling heady lately and I noticed it. Then I realized… I skipped my last values check-in. So I’m recommitting and also sharing this in case it helps you recommit too.

Does this speak to you? I am curious to know if you can relate and what practices you may have that help you return home to yourself when you’ve drifted.